Why Social Media Comments Are Not The Whole Truth

Jan 313 min read

Updated: Feb 1

Discover how writing helps clarify reactions vs response, and the opportunity of being wrong.

“The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say.”

— Anais Nin

In a time when people seem able to say anything from the safety of their home computers, it may sound counterintuitive to consider that people don’t say what they really think and feel.

Unsocial media is often just the surface conversation, covering deep hurt or fear.

People who are normally polite in their private lives resort to accusation, hostility, and downright nasty behaviour when confronting opposing opinions on their blue-lit screen.

As if their very being was under attack by these disagreeable strangers.

Consider that this outlet for rage masks deeper concerns, and an inability to express them.

What are the thoughts and feelings behind our opponents' views?

I don’t understand how they could think what they think, or do what they do.

Ohmigod, I’m not safe.

Or conversely, we’re sure we do know what they think and why they do what they do and we’re sure it’s nefarious.

Ohmigod, I’m not safe.

I’m not suggesting that those we disagree with do or don’t have negative objectives, but they’re probably not negative to them.

Of course, this uncertainty can induce even further fear in us.

And that’s the point.

When we attach our opinions to our identity, conversation about other opinions becomes a threat.

Our minds find safety in the comfort of repetitive content.

If we are told — through our parents, our TV, our society — that something is scary, our subconscious learns that we must avoid that thing, that person, that opinion at all cost.

Fear doesn’t discern.

It doesn’t use logic.

Fear bypasses the executive function of the brain and resides in the subconscious, looking for safety in numbers.

So how do we use our prefrontal cortex and hold civilized conversations?

“A diary is useful during conscious, intentional, and painful spiritual evolutions. When you want to know where you stand…an intimate diary is interesting especially when it records the awakening of ideas….”

— André Gide, Nobel Prize Laureate

Writing helps us to distinguish our reactions from reasoned response.

It helps to sort triggered emotions that stem from our subconscious mind’s desire for safety.

We can ask ourselves, why am I having this response to this situation?

Why do I think that?

And why do I think that?

We can drill down until we strike gold.

Before posting your next comment online or snapping at a loved one with a different opinion, ask yourself, what is wanted and needed in this conversation?

What would forward useful dialogue and understanding?

Of course, you have to be willing to concede that the truth may not be what you think it is.

But it also may not be as scary as you think it is.

Once you detach your identity from your beliefs, a whole world of possibility opens up.

Ideas on a wide variety of subjects become intriguing and even fascinating.

Through our willingness to be curious again, all manner of creative ideas arise.

Here’s Joe Rogan with sage advice for us all…