How Do We True Ourselves Up To Who We Really Are?

A transformative journey from striving to allowing and listening for the call of life.

“Journal writing, when it becomes a ritual for transformation, is not only life-changing but life-expanding.” 

— Jen Williamson

I don’t exactly know how to write this…but here we go.

Something has happened, something significant within me but with no external evidence…yet.

Does that sound like a riddle?

It is one, to me.

I’ve been journaling voraciously lately, finding words without meaning and meaning without words.

I’m trying to release something that wants to be expressed but for which I don’t yet have a way to communicate.

This is why I journal.

To sort my thoughts, my feelings, my purpose.

To true myself up to who I really am, underneath the cloak of identity.

It was the fall of 2022, after I’d blown up my life, that I was traveling between Ontario and Quebec, homeless and heartbroken, and on a mission to raise awareness about the Covid narrative through my blog.

All I knew was that I had to help people discern the truth, using what I had — my writing skills.

A friend took me to a tiny Portuguese café in Montreal, renowned in freedom circles for their defiance of mandates and their weekly psychic readings.

This will be fun, I thought.

The psychic took 10 minutes with each person and seemed to connect to some truth within each of them.

Within 2 minutes of starting my reading, I was sobbing.

She knew about my daughter — the one I’d almost had 15 years prior.

It wasn’t something I carried around, or so I thought.

But when I went home that night, I experienced her presence and a sense of motherhood that I had not had before that, nor since.

The seer said something else that night, in a side conversation when the public part was over.

“You are a spiritual warrior, and you will become a face of the freedom movement.”

When she said it, I didn’t feel excited or scared or anything other than a sense of duty, knowing that this was true — though I couldn’t possibly foresee how.

I’d been healing at home for a decade.

I had a small blog but no one knew who I was anymore.

“I see some kind of conference. You’re not a speaker but you’re introducing the speakers.”

I had been thinking about what else I could contribute during this critical time in history, in addition to my writing.

I’d put it into the ether.

How can I use my other skills to be of service?

I had years of production and on-camera experience as a story producer, reporter and television host.

Somehow, I would find a way — or rather, the way would find me.

There was no attachment to how or even if I could do this, just a knowing that I was being called.

Journaling allows us to hear that call, and to quiet and slow ourselves down enough to be able to hear the response.

“Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time.” 

— Mina Murray

Though it may sound counterintuitive, one of the gifts of years of isolation due to chronic fatigue was losing my ambition.

I no longer had a career, a reputation, or even a social circle, and was now freed up from my ego concerns about “making it” or proving anything to anyone — especially to myself.

I simply wanted to serve.

3 months after the psychic’s prediction, I was asked to be the spokesperson for the National Citizens Inquiry.

During 28 hearing days over several months, I introduced witnesses and their testimony to the public as the face of the NCI.

I did dozens of interviews during and afterwards, travelling to events, promoting the testimony, meeting hundreds of inspiring people.

Once the resulting Commissioners Report was released in the fall of 2023, I left my official role.

I had no attachment to what was next, but after 3 years of working mostly for free, I began to worry.

I had almost run out of savings, had no home, and no income on the horizon.

I started thinking about what was next and decided to come home to coaching and journaling.

When I say that I lost my ambition during the years of illness, I don’t mean that I lost my desire to create or to contribute, but that I no longer had any desire to compete, to strive, to push through.

I had begun to live my life allowing myself to be drawn by “the call” — by that which compelled me to action through the eternal portals of truth, beauty, and goodness.

But somewhere in my quest to survive in the material world, I lost sight of this.

I started working hard to build my business, posting on social media everyday, putting out more blogs, more content, and promoting my services.

But this past week, something happened.

Contrary to all the popular motivational advice to keep going, I remembered that this is not me.

I cannot coach people to real freedom, to the truth within themselves, unless I am following my own.

I’m not suggesting that anyone anywhere quit their job, their business, or even their plans.

Advice is not what I do.

My commitment is to be true to myself and authentically share with others in such a way that they have the possibility of seeing something for themselves.

The personal, after all, is universal.

While it absolutely makes sense to keep building my business in the way I have been, it doesn’t  resonate with me.

I’ve been feeling like I’m pushing a rock up a hill, like I’m forcing something that should be a joy.

So I’ve stopped.

I haven’t stopped my coaching and courses and other services, but I’ve shifted my experience away from trying to get somewhere and back to being open to the call.

In the few days since I made the decision to stop striving, several interesting opportunities have arisen.

I don’t know what, if anything, will come of them, but I feel true to myself again — which is the foundation of what I “teach” or share.

The past few years of surrendering, of allowing myself to be drawn rather than to chase, have been challenging.

But I have lived a lifetime of adventure and experienced a mountain of personal growth.

And isn’t that why we’re here?

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If you are drawn to the possibility of tapping into your inner wisdom,

The Power of Journaling will remain open for registration until Sunday, February 23rd at midnight EST.

If it works for enough people, we will commence the journey on Saturday, March 1st.

All sessions will be recorded and available for you to access at any time.